Tony's Toddler Problem
by rabidwhiterabbit
Summary: Tony is bored and somehow creates a youth potion. Not wanting to test it out on himself, he puts it in a new carton of creamer and gives it to everyone currently in the tower before his press conference. Bruce and Bucky come back from Seattle to see the issue and suddenly Loki comes to say he accidentally turned Thor into a toddler.
1. Chapter 1

After the war between two Avengers, Tony decides to be forgiving and give Bucky a chance. Fury had taken in the Winter Soldier and T'Challa had given all his research information to the S.H.I.E.L.D research team that will take over Bucky's therapy. Steve was a fugitive, but Tony and T'Challa were pulling strings about getting that fixed. They were successful on getting the rest of the Avengers out of the Raft prison.

This story begins on a boring Monday in Tony's work room. Pieces of armor was scattered here and there. Robots, half built and completed, buzzed and whirred as they wait for orders or pieces. Tony was busying over some chemical equations, trying to balance the carbon dioxide and the magnesium. He stank of booze, sweat, and pizza like a college student on spring break.

"Tony, don't do anything stupid while I'm at the conference for cancer research." Bruce said as he walked in and looked over the paper. He tried to read what was written, but Tony had slouched over it and looked up at the doctor.

"Yeah. Have fun." Tony said half listening to whatever warning Bruce said about his latest, spontaneous project.

He didn't say anything, but that's how deep he was concentrated into his project. Hours later, Tony was done with the inconspicuously clear liquid. It had no aroma, but he wasn't sure about the taste. He wouldn't want to be the one who had to test it if it was working to it's true purpose. So, he planned on testing it on Steve.

"Tony, it's time four the press conference about the Records." Pepper came in looking ready for a business meeting or the press conference she just talked about.

"What time is it?" Tony yawned and looked for a clock.

His white tank top was greasy, his hair a disarray, and he looked like the walking dead. That's how tired he was. He looked at Pepper who was dressed in her office casual, sharp and crisp. A sharp contrast of what Tony looked liked. She sighed and walked around the tornado debris that was Tony's lab and dragged him to his pent house suit in the tower. She set out a suit for him and made him shower before forcing clothes on him.

"When we get back, you're sleeping and having something besides left over pizza for lunch." Pepper said as she fixed his tie and straightened the shoulders of his suit.

"Let's go get this over with." Tony said as he grabbed his little vile and went to the kitchen in the common floor. Pepper wanted to know what was the clear liquid in the little vile, but held her tongue.

He was there before everyone else and made himself coffee. A thought came to the playboy and he looked at the creamer and then around the kitchen to see if anyone was entering soon. He finished his coffee and stowed the vile in his pocket when he heard talking. Pepper was waiting and he shouldn't keep her, but he felt like being lazy. Steve and Sam had just come back from their morning jog. Clint came in slow and groggy a moment later and flopped in a chair. He grabbed an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table and finished it quickly. He had to get to the coffee before everyone else made their second cups and finish the creamer.

"Where's Bucky?" Clint yawned.

"He went with Bruce to the medical conference in Seattle. There's a doctor there who specializes with brain damage and memory recovery." Steve said.

He got up and went to the fridge to find the creamer. Steve pushed juice, milk, and a jar of pickles until he saw the creamer hanging before his head.

"Looking for this?" Tony yawned.

Steve rolled his eyes and took it. He made himself a large portion in his coffee. In the 30's, Steve forced himself bitter coffee and the army wasn't any better. Cream and sugar were a godsend and Steve liked that he could have his coffee as sweet or as bitter as he wanted. Sam took it and then handed it to Clint when he was done.

"I'd take a nap on the way to your thing." Sam said, reading Steve's mind.

"Help me hide the booze later." Steve whispered to Clint. The archer nodded in agreement and Tony shot them a look.

"Tony!" Pepper shouted by the elevator down the hall.

"Later, guys. Tell Wanda her Amazon order is on it's way!" Tony rushed out, knowing Pepper would lecture him later for making them late to avoid the New York traffic. Steve poured more creamer in his drink and took a sip.

"What is in this?" He took the carton from Sam and looked at the ingredients.

"What's wrong, Cap?" Scott yawned as he entered. He took the pancake mix from a cabinet and began to warm up a pan.

"Something doesn't taste right." Clint said as he put his coffee down with a grimace.

"It's metallic." Sam said as he sat down at the table. Scott had a sip of someone's coffee and looked like he ate a lemon.

"Yeah. What's the date on it?" Clint asked as he took a second opinion sip of his coffee.

"It's not expiring any time soon. Maybe it's just us." Scott said and looked over the printed date on the bottom of the carton.

"Hey, Wanda, can you tell us what's wrong with the creamer?" Steve asked as the young woman walked in. Wanda levitated the creamer to her and made herself a cup. She took a sip and winced.

"Is this a new brand?" She asked looking at the label.

"No, which is weird. Where's Vision?" Clint asked looking around. Vision was currently doing some shopping errands for everyone at the Walmart nearby. Steve was too stubborn to let a little metallic taste ruin his coffee time, so he finished his cup and went to the gym a few floors down.

Tony wanted to treat Pepper out and that he did. They went to a five star restaurant for lunch and went to the tower to spend the rest of the day sleeping and watching t.v. He was being a little shit through the whole conference, so he decided to make it up to Pepper and it seemed to work well for him.

"Tony!" Pepper screamed when she walked to the living room to see Fury is holding a three year old.

"Is that Wanda!?" Tony walked in and saw Fury was holding Wanda.

"Where's Rogers?" Fury asked as he put the three year old down. Sam saw Scott had the remote and tackled him

"Fury, I want fruit." Clint tugged on Fury's coat.

"Hold on." Fury looked like he was fighting a migraine.

Tony saw Scott and Sam were fighting over the remote and Wanda was napping on a pillow on the couch. She was watching Spongebob Squarepants and then it flipped to a nature documentary. Five minutes in while everyone looked for Steve and Wanda fell asleep.

"What did you do?!" Pepper smacked Tony and glared at him.

"I made a youth potion!" Tony said half guilty and half amused.

"Alright, that's out in the open. Now, where's Cap?" Fury repeated in a low growl. He was not having a good day.

"He went to the gym." Sam said as he ran behind Fury's legs away from Scott.

"For how long?" Fury asked as he picked Scott up.

"I don't know." Sam shrugged and sat down.

Fury hurried to the gym. He knew Tony and Pepper needed to talk about the 'youth potion' the billionaire concocted. While he searched for the gym, Pepper and Tony kept the kids amused and calm while Pepper silently boiled in anger. They made a small pillow wall to keep the toddlers in. Tony found that Clint was estimated to be about five while the other three were about three.

"You owe me so much." Pepper glared at him.

Fury looked around the gym and heard a little kid crying in the weight room. He wore clothes too big for him and was too small and frail to be anymore than one.

"You alright?" Fury said as he picked up a tiny toddler blonde from the corner.

Steve was sickly pale and the director could see he was too frail to be healthy. Steve sniffled and balled up like he was terrified. Fury awkwardly patted his back and walked back to the elevator. Jarvis set the elevator to the floor where everyone else was.

"I want Bucky." Steve sniffed and laid his head on Fury's shoulder. He couldn't help it, but act the age he was in.

"I'm bring you back up to the others. Tony has some explaining to do." Fury said as he walked to the elevator.

Steve yawned and rubbed his big blue eyes. When Fury got to the right floor, Steve was asleep on his shoulder. Pepper got up and walked up to Fury to take Steve from him. He didn't wake up and just let people hold him. Steve was just too exhausted to have any fight.

"Awe he's adorable." Pepper cooed as she held him. Tony rolled his eyes and sighed when Clint fell asleep on his lap and Sam was drooling on his shoulder. Scott was sleeping on a pillow on the floor like Wanda.

"How long will this last?" Fury asked calmly though Tony and Pepper could see the anger in his eye.

"I don't know. I got bored and a little drunk yesterday." Tony shrugged as he whispered his response. "You better find a way to fix this. I'm not sure how Barnes will react to his only allies as three year olds." Fury said as he got up and left.

"Good luck. I only came because Wanda called in." Fury said as he took the stairs down to the hanger he came in on a prototype jet-pack.

"Crap." Tony sighed when he saw the quinjet that Natasha left with coming in for a landing.

"Language!" Pepper hissed quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I was updating the format to make it easier and I messed up some stuff. If it doesn't look right, I'm terribly sorry. (Not as sorry as Tony will be in the near future)**

* * *

All Fury wanted to do was to have a calm day and have a strong coffee. He would test out the new jet pack because he was the director and he could. He had it stashed in his closet and his scientists and agents were running themselves ragged to find it. One of the newer agents tripped on her shoelace and picked herself up when she caught Fury looking at her like she got hurt. Her face grew red and she ran off with her team to make sure she didn't get lost in this maze of a S.H.I.E.L.D base. He picked up his phone when it rang obnoxiously on his desk.

"Hello?" He sighed.

"Fury, can you help out with something? Look, Clint just turned into a ten year old and we need help." A squeaky teenage voice called on the receiver.

"Who is this?" Fury said incredulously.

"Sam Wilson. You know, the guy that helped take down three helicarriers with Cap after Hydra had a coming out party." The teenager said and his voice was degenerating instead.

Fury sighed and decided to take the jet pack out of his closet, opened the window, and took off. The agents and scientists looking for the device made deadpan expressions and grumbled about their waste of time. Fury, well, he had a smug expression. It was time he had a day for himself like this.

He landed on a deck connected to the common floor. Three kids ran up to him. All of them were wearing large shirts and needed to have smaller clothes. A fourth kid ran up and had a ice cream in his hand. Sam, Scott, Wanda. Clint was the one with the ice cream.

Well, that's how he found them. Wanda was crying and he managed to calm her down to the point he had her sleeping on his shoulder. When he just got a little throw pillow barrier made on the couch for everyone to have 'nap time', he watched Tony and Pepper walk in. They didn't realize it, but he found them amusing. By the time he got Steve back to the common floor, Bucky and Bruce were flabbergasted and angry. Obviously, Tony forgot about Steve's past health issues. Bucky knew the asthma was bad enough, but with the heart issues, diabetes, and other things, Steve was back on the thin line again. Life and death and Bucky was done watching his best friend have his own body kill him. Well, Bucky knew that his whole life was on a thin life or death line since their childhood, but this was more severe because they all had no clue what the 'youth potion' would do to Steve's serum and health.

"Good grief, what did you do?!" Bucky took Steve from Fury and looked him over. Steve sniffed and started to cry again.

"Tony, you better fix this. Come with me." Bruce grabbed the Iron Man's ear and pulled him to the elevator. Pepper followed close behind and scowled. She would make sure that Tony learned his lesson and kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid again for the remainder of this situation.

Bucky hushed and rocked Steve until he calmed down, but the little boy only started to cough and hack with weak lungs constricting in asthma. Everyone else, except those who were kids, panicked. Bucky calmly walked to the kitchen to boil water. While it boiled, he had sat on the floor with Steve's arms up to expand his chest and got him to breathe with him in deep, slow breathes. When the water was done, Bucky got a towel and had Steve's head covered to breathe in the steam with the towel also covering the water to keep the steam in. Everyone was silent. Bucky turned his head, but kept his gaze to the floor.

"Good thing I remember this. You all would've stressed him out even more." He shrugged and rubbed the boy's back soothingly. "When he has an asthma attack, you have to stay calm and get him to follow your breathes. Make them deep and even. Only do this when he doesn't have an inhaler." Bucky instructed them all. If he had to leave for something, he had to make sure Steve would be alive by the time he'd be home. Then, he remembered all the adults were gone and he was left with little kids. Most of them toddlers. Fury had disappeared some time along the way and now Bucky was playing babysitter. "Where the heck is Vision?"

"You said something?" Vision asked as he came through the wall. Wanda started to cry.

"Don't scare them!" Bucky shouted and that made everyone cry. He had to pull Steve out of the steam and calm him down. Too much too fast wasn't good for his lungs and he didn't want to aggravate the bronchitis.

Vision knelt down and picked up Wanda. She calmed down once he walked to a coat closet where he and Thor kept some spare capes and wrapped her in one of his. Bucky sighed and picked up as he got Steve to cling on his back and picked up Clint and Sam. They wanted to play and Bucky decided they could play if they were in the living room. He set them all down and moved the tables and lamps to areas the kids wouldn't get hurt or break things. Steve stuck close to Bucky, but the boys kept pushing and wrestling. Eventually, he got them all for nap time. He had to tell them a story about how he punched Loki in the face and Steve had laughed because Loki, in his daze, teleported away to recover and hasn't been seen since. That was just last week. The sun was just about to hit to four when he got them to wake up for dinner. None of the others had appeared and Bucky assumed Vision took Wanda to shop for clothing for the Mini Avengers. He was about to leave to start hiding Tony's booze when he turned around and saw Loki with his black eye. He snorted when he saw the imprint of his left fist still there on his cheek. What he didn't expect to see what Thor on Loki's hip asleep with a plush hammer.

"Help. Me." Loki whispered.

"I got my own stuff to deal with here!" Bucky hissed.

"I already called Lady Foster and Lady Lewis to come here. They'll watch him while I find a way to fix him!" Loki hissed back.

Bucky smacked his palm in his forehead and sighed. He walked over and picked Steve up to see Bruce and pointed to the spot for Thor to sleep on. "Let's go, you stupid-"

"Language!" Loki rolled his eyes and marched to the elevator.

To be honest, they all didn't see that coming. They knew Thor was looking for Loki, but when Loki explained that Thor interrupted and scared the Hell out of him while he was trying out something to use against them, the jump Thor gave him made him spill it all over the blonde god. Even the hammer was effected and turned into the plush. Bucky had Bruce take a look over on Steve and confirmed the prescription order with Tony and added a few more in case something bad were to happen. Bucky already knew what to do with Steve's health issues, but with the new medications that could help, he had to learn what all that meant. Once Jane got there, all the Mini Avengers were playing and getting attention with Darcy and Vision dropped Wanda off before leaving off somewhere. Steve just clung to Bucky and shied away from everyone else. He was angry with Tony though and they all knew why. Everyone was mad at Tony.


End file.
